1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:25,473 --> 00:00:27,303 It was my momma, Annie! 4 00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:29,339 We were riding on the ferry boat 5 00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:32,204 and she was holding me up to see all the big ships. 6 00:00:32,239 --> 00:00:35,587 And I couldn't find her no more. 7 00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:38,314 All I've ever wanted was to be an actress. 8 00:00:38,348 --> 00:00:39,936 I'm not sure why. 9 00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:42,870 Maybe I like living inside of someone else. 10 00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:44,147 And maybe that's because 11 00:00:44,182 --> 00:00:46,701 I don't like living inside of myself. 12 00:00:46,736 --> 00:00:49,635 But also maybe it's just because I like art, 13 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:53,398 I like making people feel things, and I like to perform. 14 00:00:53,432 --> 00:00:54,813 I don't know. 15 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,678 I did theater and dance when I was a kid, 16 00:00:57,712 --> 00:01:00,715 dropped the dance when I was in high school. 17 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:04,133 Was involved in every single production that we did 18 00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:05,651 in some way or another 19 00:01:05,686 --> 00:01:07,860 and kept it up through college. 20 00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:10,104 Got a bachelor's degree in theater, 21 00:01:10,139 --> 00:01:11,899 and after graduation, 22 00:01:11,933 --> 00:01:14,522 I moved to Chicago with my best friend. 23 00:01:14,557 --> 00:01:18,216 In the past three years, I've had bit parts in two plays, 24 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:21,805 was in the chorus of a debut musical that bombed so hard 25 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,187 our eight show run was cut short, 26 00:01:24,222 --> 00:01:27,915 and have done about a dozen student film projects. 27 00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:30,469 It's not like I have to be some sort of star. 28 00:01:30,504 --> 00:01:32,402 That's not what this is about. 29 00:01:32,437 --> 00:01:35,025 I don't even care if I have a lead role. 30 00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:37,959 I just want a part that has some depth to it. 31 00:01:37,994 --> 00:01:41,308 I wanna be in something that I can actually be proud of. 32 00:01:41,342 --> 00:01:43,172 I wanna do something that matters. 33 00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:33,567 Hi, I'm Zoe Farina, 34 00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:37,226 and I'll be auditioning for the role of Mae. 35 00:02:38,606 --> 00:02:41,126 No, Mom, please. I have to say this. 36 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,991 I can't go outside these walls. 37 00:02:44,025 --> 00:02:45,889 There's just too much pain. 38 00:02:45,924 --> 00:02:49,099 I can feel everyone staring at me, staring at this. 39 00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:52,068 The noise it makes, it's just so loud, 40 00:02:52,102 --> 00:02:54,691 that's why I dropped out of high school. 41 00:02:54,726 --> 00:02:57,384 I can feel everyone's eyes staring at me. 42 00:02:57,418 --> 00:02:59,351 Heard all the giggles they tried to suppress 43 00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:01,802 as I clomped and limped down the hall, 44 00:03:01,836 --> 00:03:04,908 especially when I would enter the choir room. 45 00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:07,980 Jim would never wanna be around me again. 46 00:03:08,015 --> 00:03:09,465 Sure, we talked sometimes, 47 00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:12,053 but he wouldn't wanna be around me any more than that. 48 00:03:12,088 --> 00:03:14,884 Not around the limping girl who makes such a racket. 49 00:03:14,918 --> 00:03:17,404 Nobody would wanna be near me. 50 00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,338 So I turned out from the rest of the world 51 00:03:20,372 --> 00:03:22,236 before it could cause me any more pain 52 00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:24,031 than I already suffered. 53 00:03:24,065 --> 00:03:26,654 And it seems that whatever crippled my leg... 54 00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:31,659 Yes, Mom, I'm crippled and so is the rest of my being. 55 00:03:32,764 --> 00:03:34,800 I just got worse and worse at school. 56 00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:39,529 And then at college in that confined typing room, 57 00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:41,462 that quick clacking of keyboard surrounded me 58 00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:43,844 as I stumbled and fat-fingered all the letters. 59 00:03:43,878 --> 00:03:47,779 Mom, secluded from the world in this home, 60 00:03:47,813 --> 00:03:51,714 listening to records and dusting my glass collection, 61 00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:53,750 this is where I belong. 62 00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:56,236 I fail everywhere else in the outside world. 63 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,824 Here, there's nothing to fail at. 64 00:03:58,859 --> 00:04:01,448 I'll never find a husband or a job, 65 00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,795 so I might as well just give up trying now 66 00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,486 and just be content in my bubble 67 00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:08,627 with at least no additional failure for the rest of my life. 68 00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,905 And I can't see Jim. 69 00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:13,839 Would only result in the ultimate failure, 70 00:04:13,874 --> 00:04:16,670 rejection from the only person I've ever loved. 71 00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:18,223 Mom, I can't. 72 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,330 Just have dinner without me. 73 00:04:21,364 --> 00:04:22,676 Thank you. 74 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,713 Are you all ready to order? 75 00:04:59,747 --> 00:05:01,887 Yes, I believe so. Um... 76 00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:04,821 Well, hmm... 77 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,483 Maybe I'll try... 78 00:05:15,798 --> 00:05:18,663 - I can come back. - Oh, no, no, no. 79 00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:20,043 I'll have the... 80 00:05:21,079 --> 00:05:22,460 Hang on a minute. 81 00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,291 Oh. Just, just one more minute. 82 00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:29,018 Mm. Uh... 83 00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:51,005 Hey, kid. Rough day? 84 00:05:53,698 --> 00:05:55,838 Mm. That does sound bad. 85 00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:59,497 You ever just hate everything? 86 00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:00,429 That's a mood. 87 00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:03,224 Like, can we switch jobs? 88 00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:04,605 You wanna be a nurse? 89 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:05,917 I've got the skillset. 90 00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:08,506 I can use monologues to heal the sick orphans. 91 00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:11,060 Do you know what a hospital is? 92 00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:13,131 I don't know. I just... 93 00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:18,619 I just wish I was doing more. 94 00:06:21,553 --> 00:06:24,487 Hey, something is gonna come up 95 00:06:24,522 --> 00:06:26,696 because you are talented, you are hot, 96 00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:30,700 and they'd be lucky to have you, okay? 97 00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:32,115 We still on for tomorrow night? 98 00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,463 Yeah. Tickets are at will call. 99 00:06:34,497 --> 00:06:35,325 Nice. 100 00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:41,642 - Hey, Leala? - Yeah. 101 00:06:41,677 --> 00:06:45,335 I will get you my half of the rent tomorrow. 102 00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:47,752 I'm-I'm really sorry that it's coming a little late. 103 00:06:47,786 --> 00:06:48,925 That's okay. 104 00:06:50,962 --> 00:06:53,240 Now I gotta go monologue to the orphans. 105 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:55,863 Break a leg. 106 00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:07,703 I can feel everyone staring at me, staring at this. 107 00:07:07,737 --> 00:07:10,222 The noise it makes, it's just so loud. 108 00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:12,052 That's why I dropped out of high school. 109 00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:13,985 I can feel everyone's eyes staring me. 110 00:07:16,332 --> 00:07:17,816 Excuse me? 111 00:07:17,851 --> 00:07:19,093 I... Nothing. 112 00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:20,923 Nothing. 113 00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:25,030 I can feel everyone's eyes staring at me. 114 00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:27,481 Heard all the giggles they tried to suppress 115 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:29,587 as I clomped and limped down the hall. 116 00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:31,899 Especially when I would enter the choir room. 117 00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:34,592 Jim would never wanna be around-- 118 00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:36,352 What? - Nothing. 119 00:07:36,386 --> 00:07:38,527 Yes, something. What? 120 00:07:38,561 --> 00:07:41,288 I guess I'm not buying it. 121 00:07:41,322 --> 00:07:42,738 Well that's why I'm working on it. 122 00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:44,671 Yep. Please. 123 00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,569 Please do, you need it. 124 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,469 Especially when I would enter the choir room. 125 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,540 Jim would never wanna be around me. 126 00:07:51,574 --> 00:07:53,680 Sure, we talked sometimes, but he would never wanna be-- 127 00:07:59,548 --> 00:08:03,586 All right. I will get those drinks for you. 128 00:08:03,621 --> 00:08:05,623 Excuse me, Ma'am? Ma'am. 129 00:08:05,657 --> 00:08:07,590 Is there anything that we can get really quickly? 130 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:08,971 What do you-- 131 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,628 It's just that my oldest is absolutely starving, 132 00:08:10,662 --> 00:08:12,284 so if there's anything you could bring 133 00:08:12,319 --> 00:08:15,115 for her to eat right away, 134 00:08:15,149 --> 00:08:17,393 that would be excellent. 135 00:08:17,427 --> 00:08:19,947 Although she is pretty picky, so nothing weird. 136 00:08:19,982 --> 00:08:21,535 None of that vegan crap. 137 00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:25,953 Oh, also no cheese or you'll have some very strange smells. 138 00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:29,129 Okay? 139 00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:31,027 Thank you. 140 00:08:36,861 --> 00:08:38,932 How dare you place those two things 141 00:08:38,966 --> 00:08:41,693 within the context that you've just placed them in! 142 00:08:41,728 --> 00:08:44,178 The context I placed them in? 143 00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:45,525 What about your novel? 144 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,837 What about the context you placed them in? 145 00:08:47,872 --> 00:08:49,252 Maybe the man placed the ring 146 00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:50,737 on the wrong finger. 147 00:08:50,771 --> 00:08:51,841 Well, maybe the woman 148 00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:54,016 gave the man the wrong finger. 149 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:02,680 Do you ever miss it? 150 00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:04,958 - Miss what? - Performing! 151 00:09:04,992 --> 00:09:08,030 - Dude, it was one show. - No, you were good. 152 00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:10,101 I was whatever. 153 00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:12,137 You were good. 154 00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:14,277 I'll stick to the occasional painting. 155 00:09:14,312 --> 00:09:15,762 No, you know who was good? 156 00:09:15,796 --> 00:09:17,315 That girl? - Mm. 157 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,593 God, I was hanging on every word. 158 00:09:19,628 --> 00:09:21,215 She was so incredible. 159 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,010 Yeah, I didn't know if I was gonna like this one, 160 00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:24,391 period piece and all that, 161 00:09:24,425 --> 00:09:27,152 but she really made everything come together. 162 00:09:27,187 --> 00:09:28,913 You know what it was? 163 00:09:28,947 --> 00:09:31,640 It wasn't her delivery that did it. It was her eyes. 164 00:09:31,674 --> 00:09:33,262 Ah yes. Her eyes. 165 00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:34,504 No, I'm serious. 166 00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:37,887 That's where all her emotion came from. 167 00:09:37,922 --> 00:09:39,924 Sounds a little lame when you say it out loud. 168 00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:45,688 But you're right, it was in her eyes. 169 00:09:45,723 --> 00:09:47,483 It was totally her eyes, wasn't it? 170 00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,454 I wanna do that. 171 00:09:54,766 --> 00:09:56,803 Well, you're close, 172 00:09:56,837 --> 00:09:59,668 if you consider 14 rows back being close. 173 00:09:59,702 --> 00:10:01,497 It's closer than the mezzanine. 174 00:10:01,531 --> 00:10:04,017 Yeah, but it's not on the stage, is it? 175 00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:06,398 I perform on stage. 176 00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:07,641 Not that one. 177 00:10:09,747 --> 00:10:14,717 You know that actress is two years younger than you? 178 00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:18,721 It would've been nice to be there two years ago. 179 00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,829 I guess it's really no surprise though, is it, 180 00:10:22,863 --> 00:10:25,521 why she's there and you're here? 181 00:10:26,556 --> 00:10:28,904 What does that even mean? 182 00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:33,529 I'm just saying, if you spend more time going to plays, 183 00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:37,567 well then you can't really have any time to be in one. 184 00:10:37,602 --> 00:10:38,430 Can you? 185 00:10:41,226 --> 00:10:42,538 Zoe? 186 00:10:42,572 --> 00:10:43,850 What? 187 00:10:43,884 --> 00:10:45,334 You good? 188 00:10:45,368 --> 00:10:46,369 Yeah. 189 00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:49,778 Damn. 190 00:11:49,812 --> 00:11:51,814 Really? Would you make out with me? 191 00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:53,367 Make out with you? 192 00:11:53,402 --> 00:11:55,128 Where are you going, an eighth grade party? 193 00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:56,612 All right, fine. 194 00:11:56,646 --> 00:11:58,062 Would you raw dog me in the ass? 195 00:11:58,096 --> 00:12:00,892 Holy shit. 196 00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:02,273 Maybe I'll find a middle ground. 197 00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:05,207 Uh-uh, yeah, that's probably a good idea. 198 00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:06,760 Do you work tonight? 199 00:12:06,795 --> 00:12:08,141 No, I'm off. 200 00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:09,763 Ooh, what are you gonna do? 201 00:12:09,798 --> 00:12:12,697 Mm, I have some sides I need to go over. 202 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,010 Well that doesn't sound like you're off. 203 00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:17,253 What else am I supposed to do? 204 00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:19,255 Have a great time with me. 205 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:20,636 Have fun. 206 00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:22,638 Well, I tried. 207 00:12:22,672 --> 00:12:26,159 Maybe I'll be back. Maybe I won't. 208 00:12:26,193 --> 00:12:29,231 Ooh, use protection or don't. 209 00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:32,130 Have a baby but I won't help you raise it. 210 00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:33,718 Can't have a baby in the butt. 211 00:12:37,342 --> 00:12:39,206 Don't you see what you've done? 212 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:40,380 All of you, you're killing me. 213 00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,382 You practically have killed me. 214 00:12:42,416 --> 00:12:44,315 This information is nothing new. 215 00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:45,903 You all knew for decades. 216 00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,043 You knew the truth and you chose to do nothing about it. 217 00:12:56,396 --> 00:12:57,224 Hey. 218 00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:01,711 - What up, what up? - Nothing much. I... 219 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,542 I'm just running some lines. How are you doing? 220 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:08,339 - Pretty good. - Yeah. How's mom and dad? 221 00:13:08,373 --> 00:13:09,892 They're good. 222 00:13:09,927 --> 00:13:14,103 Dad's been busy building, like, a mailbox or a bird house. 223 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,934 I don't know, something wooden. 224 00:13:16,968 --> 00:13:18,798 But I was actually calling 225 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:23,009 because I've been spending a lot of time with Josh. 226 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:27,220 Yo. 227 00:13:27,254 --> 00:13:29,912 That's all I get is "yo"? 228 00:13:29,947 --> 00:13:32,294 - How did he do it? - Oh my gosh. Okay. 229 00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:34,503 So he took us to our favorite park 230 00:13:34,537 --> 00:13:37,989 and he had an entire picnic set up, 231 00:13:38,024 --> 00:13:40,371 and it was just so simple and so perfect. 232 00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:43,546 I'm so happy for you, for both of you. 233 00:13:43,581 --> 00:13:45,963 Thank you. This still does not feel real. 234 00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:47,965 I get that. It's big. 235 00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:49,621 I know. It's so big. 236 00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,418 I mean, congrats, again. 237 00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,800 Seriously, I-I have to get some work done, 238 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,354 so I'm gonna go, but I love you 239 00:13:58,389 --> 00:14:01,323 and we can talk wedding stuff later? 240 00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:02,807 Okay. Yes, definitely. 241 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,671 I love you so much. 242 00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:05,706 - Bye. - Bye. 243 00:14:18,271 --> 00:14:19,720 Don't you see what you've done? 244 00:14:19,755 --> 00:14:21,170 All of you, you're killing me. 245 00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:22,827 You practically have killed me. 246 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,036 This information is nothing new. 247 00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:26,589 You all knew for decades. 248 00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:29,696 You knew the truth and you chose to do nothing about it. 249 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,215 This script is ass. 250 00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:32,872 I didn't write it. 251 00:14:34,287 --> 00:14:36,530 You chose to do nothing about it, and now here we are. 252 00:14:36,565 --> 00:14:38,463 I stand before you begging you to try, 253 00:14:38,498 --> 00:14:40,534 try to do something, anything. 254 00:14:40,569 --> 00:14:41,501 This fucking sucks. 255 00:14:41,535 --> 00:14:44,366 I told you I didn't write it. 256 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,507 - I'm talking about you. - Hey! 257 00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:52,201 What do you want me to say? It sucks. 258 00:14:52,236 --> 00:14:54,169 I'm really trying. 259 00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:56,654 Really? This is you trying. 260 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,070 You just said the script isn't good. 261 00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:02,867 You are doing nothing to elevate the material. 262 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,352 I didn't ask you to be here. 263 00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:07,803 Well, here I am being tortured 264 00:15:07,837 --> 00:15:12,049 to watch your pathetic performance of a ghost 265 00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:16,708 of an almost acceptable excuse for a middle school play. 266 00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:21,368 Run it again from the top. 267 00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:45,220 Thanks for stopping in. 268 00:15:49,189 --> 00:15:50,673 $2 on a $56 check. 269 00:15:53,228 --> 00:15:54,712 $2 on a $56 check. 270 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,751 I get it, tipping feels wrong, 271 00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:01,788 you wonder, "Aren't you just doing your job? 272 00:16:01,822 --> 00:16:03,100 "Aren't you already getting paid?" 273 00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:07,035 I am! $6.40 an hour, and that isn't your fault. 274 00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:09,761 You didn't directly allow my employer 275 00:16:09,796 --> 00:16:11,971 to legally not have to pay me a livable wage. 276 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,420 But that's the way it is. 277 00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:15,526 And I need tips in order for serving 278 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,770 to be financially sustainable. 279 00:16:18,805 --> 00:16:20,565 Which I realize brings up more questions. 280 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,636 Why are you a server? Why didn't you go to school? 281 00:16:22,671 --> 00:16:24,604 Well, I did go, and I'll be paying off loans 282 00:16:24,638 --> 00:16:26,675 for the next 15 years of my life, 283 00:16:26,709 --> 00:16:29,022 which again, not your fault. 284 00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:31,404 You were not the individuals 285 00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:33,199 who corrupted these major institutions, 286 00:16:33,233 --> 00:16:35,063 but you are the individuals 287 00:16:35,097 --> 00:16:38,169 who kept ordering drink after drink after drink, 288 00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:39,895 forcing me to spend more time with you 289 00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:40,896 than with my other tables. 290 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,484 And we only have so many tables. 291 00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:45,245 So in that sense, yes, you are the individuals 292 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,144 who have caused me to make less money 293 00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:48,593 than I should have made today. 294 00:16:52,459 --> 00:16:53,288 Hello? 295 00:16:56,118 --> 00:17:00,467 Yes. Yes. 296 00:17:00,502 --> 00:17:01,779 Yes. Thank you. 297 00:17:03,263 --> 00:17:06,749 So it's a little out there, but it has an important message. 298 00:17:06,784 --> 00:17:09,545 And I guess I'm kind of the lead. 299 00:17:10,788 --> 00:17:13,687 - That's amazing, Zoe. - Thank you. 300 00:17:13,722 --> 00:17:15,172 We need to celebrate. 301 00:17:15,206 --> 00:17:18,347 - Oh no, we don't need to. - Yes, we do need, we do. 302 00:17:18,382 --> 00:17:19,624 This is a milestone 303 00:17:19,659 --> 00:17:22,075 and society dictates that we must celebrate. 304 00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:23,525 It's really fine if we just stay in here. 305 00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:25,147 I don't know if you know this, 306 00:17:25,182 --> 00:17:27,805 but the youths of today don't just stay inside every night. 307 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,117 We dress mildly slutty, 308 00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:30,670 we drunkenly dance to 30 songs 309 00:17:30,704 --> 00:17:32,534 that all sound exactly the same, 310 00:17:32,568 --> 00:17:33,949 and then we eat Taco Bell. 311 00:17:33,983 --> 00:17:35,088 It's sacred. 312 00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:37,228 Well, I'm not hip with the youths. 313 00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:39,161 I'm old. - You are not old. 314 00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,232 I'm deteriorating as we speak. 315 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:42,647 You're only 25. 316 00:17:43,786 --> 00:17:45,892 Orson Wells produced, directed, 317 00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:48,860 wrote and starred in "Citizen Kane" when he was 25. 318 00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:51,070 Orson Wells produced, directed, 319 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,796 wrote and starred in "Citizen Kane" when he was 25. 320 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:55,626 Well you're not Orson Wells 321 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,006 And that's the problem. 322 00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:59,285 Well, he's a dead male filmmaker 323 00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:01,839 and you're none of those things. 324 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,634 Including successful. 325 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,187 Who cares? 326 00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:07,086 That doesn't change the fact that going out for one night 327 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,157 is not going to ruin your future. 328 00:18:09,191 --> 00:18:10,986 We just went out the other night, didn't we? 329 00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:13,264 Which you haven't paid me back for, by the way. 330 00:18:13,299 --> 00:18:15,094 But that's not the point. 331 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:18,959 I'm talking about not obsessing over your passions, 332 00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:22,446 just going out and blowing off some steam, 333 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,517 even if it's not with me. 334 00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:26,243 What happened to that girl you were seeing? 335 00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:27,416 I don't know. 336 00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:28,521 - Oh, you don't know. - I don't know. 337 00:18:28,555 --> 00:18:30,316 She's alive, probably. - Zoe. 338 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:31,869 I just don't have time to date. 339 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:35,252 That's just not a priority for me right now. 340 00:18:35,286 --> 00:18:36,115 Fine. 341 00:18:37,012 --> 00:18:37,909 Leala. 342 00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:40,464 It's fine. Congrats again. 343 00:19:29,064 --> 00:19:30,859 You know we have work to do. 344 00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:32,447 I've been working. 345 00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:36,865 I already got the part. You know, maybe Leala's, right? 346 00:19:36,899 --> 00:19:39,316 Leala doesn't have to be off book 347 00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,318 by the end of the week. 348 00:19:41,352 --> 00:19:46,219 It's one night. I can just hang out, I'll be fine 349 00:19:46,254 --> 00:19:47,634 If you say so. 350 00:19:56,885 --> 00:20:00,199 Jesus. Everybody's getting married, huh? 351 00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:02,891 I know. It's crazy. 352 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:06,998 - They look happy. - Yeah. 353 00:20:20,909 --> 00:20:23,083 Do you have any hobbies? 354 00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:26,708 Actually, love rollerblading. 355 00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:28,261 - Really? - Yeah. 356 00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:30,021 I know that's kind of weird, 357 00:20:30,056 --> 00:20:33,956 but I think it's a great way to stay active 358 00:20:33,991 --> 00:20:35,889 and I think it's fun. 359 00:20:35,924 --> 00:20:38,478 Plus, Chicago's great for it, so that's a perk. 360 00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:41,274 - Nice. - Have you ever tried it? 361 00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:42,689 No, I have not. 362 00:20:46,175 --> 00:20:48,350 How long have you lived here? 363 00:20:48,385 --> 00:20:49,696 Born and raised. 364 00:20:49,731 --> 00:20:53,113 I moved away for school but had to come back. 365 00:20:53,148 --> 00:20:55,150 There's just something about this place. 366 00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:58,981 It seems like a lot of people feel that way. 367 00:21:00,776 --> 00:21:03,227 What did you go to school for? 368 00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:06,403 - Theater. - Really? 369 00:21:06,437 --> 00:21:07,680 I know what you're thinking. 370 00:21:07,714 --> 00:21:09,129 Why would you pay a shit ton of money 371 00:21:09,164 --> 00:21:11,131 to roll around on the floor and make animal noises? 372 00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,064 No, no, no. Definitely not. 373 00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:14,721 Okay. It's true. 374 00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:17,862 We got up to a lot of weird shit. And for what? 375 00:21:17,897 --> 00:21:19,001 So I could not get a real job 376 00:21:19,036 --> 00:21:21,694 and feel like a lazy narcissist? 377 00:21:23,005 --> 00:21:25,525 Could not live with myself. 378 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,666 So after a few years I went back to school, 379 00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:31,704 got my teaching degree, twice as much debt, 380 00:21:31,738 --> 00:21:36,191 but I feel like I'm actually contributing something, 381 00:21:36,225 --> 00:21:37,503 making a difference in the world, 382 00:21:37,537 --> 00:21:39,850 so life finds a way I guess. 383 00:21:43,198 --> 00:21:44,820 Shut up, Sam. 384 00:21:44,855 --> 00:21:47,306 I'm rambling now. Sorry. 385 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:48,583 What do you do? 386 00:21:51,965 --> 00:21:53,415 I work in sales. 387 00:21:56,245 --> 00:21:57,592 Do you like it? 388 00:22:00,008 --> 00:22:00,974 It's okay. 389 00:22:13,193 --> 00:22:16,680 You wanna know the truth. 390 00:22:16,714 --> 00:22:18,509 You can't have it all. 391 00:22:23,997 --> 00:22:25,344 It is impossible 392 00:22:27,932 --> 00:22:32,903 to have every element of your life in perfect harmony. 393 00:22:33,835 --> 00:22:35,733 Work, love, family, time, sex. 394 00:22:42,982 --> 00:22:44,880 You cannot have it all. 395 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,160 So with that in mind, 396 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,235 you need to focus on what's most important. 397 00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,861 You know what that is. 398 00:22:59,895 --> 00:23:01,587 You're right. 399 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,659 Well, then let's get back at it. 400 00:24:00,024 --> 00:24:01,992 Is this just going to be an eternal struggle 401 00:24:02,026 --> 00:24:03,752 between all of us? 402 00:24:03,787 --> 00:24:07,998 I beg for forgiveness, and yet no one can hear me? 403 00:24:08,032 --> 00:24:10,449 This could have been a tale of hope, 404 00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:13,452 but instead you've written a tragedy. 405 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:21,356 It is been over a hundred years of that. 406 00:24:21,390 --> 00:24:22,702 So why I stop now? 407 00:24:22,737 --> 00:24:24,083 I don't see any reason. 408 00:24:24,117 --> 00:24:25,947 Because you're selfish. 409 00:24:25,981 --> 00:24:27,742 But you'll see just what happens if you keep-- 410 00:24:29,398 --> 00:24:30,745 You have to stop. 411 00:24:30,779 --> 00:24:32,954 You keep making him stronger. 412 00:24:32,988 --> 00:24:33,886 - Who? - Me? 413 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,511 Mr. Landfill. 414 00:24:38,546 --> 00:24:40,064 That's right. 415 00:24:40,099 --> 00:24:44,413 I had to join the party. 416 00:24:44,448 --> 00:24:47,589 It just looked like too damn much fun. 417 00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:50,489 Oh. 418 00:24:51,904 --> 00:24:52,732 Well. 419 00:24:54,182 --> 00:24:55,908 Hey there, baby blue. 420 00:24:56,943 --> 00:24:58,497 How you doing? Huh? 421 00:24:59,601 --> 00:25:01,810 You hanging in there? Yeah. 422 00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:07,540 Look, we both knew this day was coming, right? 423 00:25:07,575 --> 00:25:09,715 We just didn't know when. 424 00:25:09,749 --> 00:25:12,821 Well, here I am ready to take my shot. 425 00:25:15,583 --> 00:25:18,344 Ah! 426 00:25:18,378 --> 00:25:20,795 Don't you see what you've done? 427 00:25:20,829 --> 00:25:22,831 All of you, you're killing me. 428 00:25:22,866 --> 00:25:25,213 You practically have killed me. 429 00:25:25,247 --> 00:25:27,387 This information is nothing new. 430 00:25:27,422 --> 00:25:30,321 You all knew for decades, you knew the truth, 431 00:25:30,356 --> 00:25:33,773 and you chose to do nothing about it. 432 00:25:33,808 --> 00:25:35,223 And now here we are. 433 00:25:35,257 --> 00:25:38,157 I stand here before you begging you to try, 434 00:25:38,191 --> 00:25:42,437 try to do something, anything before it's too... 435 00:25:42,471 --> 00:25:43,714 Oh no. God, no. 436 00:25:45,198 --> 00:25:47,097 Look what you've done to me. We've finally run out of-- 437 00:26:12,122 --> 00:26:13,641 I get it. I do. 438 00:26:13,675 --> 00:26:16,057 It's not like I'm so obtuse that I don't understand it, 439 00:26:16,091 --> 00:26:17,368 but that's kind of my problem. 440 00:26:17,403 --> 00:26:19,439 It's just so on the nose. 441 00:26:19,474 --> 00:26:22,028 Hey, I think our girl killed it out there. 442 00:26:22,063 --> 00:26:25,825 I know it's not the most palatable production. 443 00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:27,689 Don't get me wrong. You were great. 444 00:26:27,724 --> 00:26:29,933 I'm just talking about the material. 445 00:26:29,967 --> 00:26:33,488 To even be doing the arts thing, I can't even imagine. 446 00:26:33,522 --> 00:26:36,180 Do you know many other people who are going for it? 447 00:26:36,215 --> 00:26:38,182 I mean, I know other actors, 448 00:26:38,217 --> 00:26:41,669 and I have a close friend in my hometown who makes music. 449 00:26:41,703 --> 00:26:42,531 Cool. 450 00:26:46,225 --> 00:26:48,434 Yeah, I just... I don't know about that play though. 451 00:26:48,468 --> 00:26:50,988 It's... it's not even that I disagree with the messaging. 452 00:26:51,023 --> 00:26:52,645 Like, obviously I think it's important. 453 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,613 But just because I agree with something 454 00:26:54,647 --> 00:26:57,201 doesn't automatically make it good, you know? 455 00:26:57,236 --> 00:26:58,340 And they chose to showcase it 456 00:26:58,375 --> 00:27:01,343 in such a purposefully weird way. 457 00:27:01,378 --> 00:27:02,310 I don't know if I can get down 458 00:27:02,344 --> 00:27:03,794 with all the avant garde shit. 459 00:27:03,829 --> 00:27:05,693 Well, not all experimental theater 460 00:27:05,727 --> 00:27:07,315 is quite like that, you know? 461 00:27:07,349 --> 00:27:09,904 So you got some pretty big news yesterday, right? 462 00:27:09,938 --> 00:27:11,077 Yeah. Yeah. 463 00:27:11,112 --> 00:27:13,804 Um, I... I got a promotion. 464 00:27:13,839 --> 00:27:16,496 - No way. That's so good. - That's great. 465 00:27:16,531 --> 00:27:20,155 Yeah, thanks. Long time coming, right? 466 00:27:20,190 --> 00:27:22,882 - Big man, big paycheck, huh? - Something like that. 467 00:27:22,917 --> 00:27:24,539 So next round's on you, right? 468 00:27:38,449 --> 00:27:39,761 They hated it. 469 00:27:41,694 --> 00:27:43,351 They said I was good. 470 00:27:43,385 --> 00:27:48,011 Do you really think they would tell you if it was bad? 471 00:27:50,807 --> 00:27:52,774 This isn't what you want. 472 00:27:52,809 --> 00:27:54,189 Not exactly, but it's something. 473 00:27:54,224 --> 00:27:55,777 No, it's nothing. 474 00:27:55,812 --> 00:27:57,814 It is a waste of time. 475 00:27:57,848 --> 00:28:00,851 What you could be doing, what you should be doing 476 00:28:00,886 --> 00:28:04,130 is doing something important, something that matters. 477 00:28:04,165 --> 00:28:07,133 Something that connects with people. 478 00:28:08,825 --> 00:28:10,481 Hey, are you okay? 479 00:28:11,759 --> 00:28:12,932 Yeah. 480 00:28:24,081 --> 00:28:28,499 ♪ Are you doing enough ♪ 481 00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:32,849 ♪ Are you trying your best ♪ 482 00:28:32,883 --> 00:28:36,162 ♪ Is it really that tough ♪ 483 00:28:36,197 --> 00:28:41,167 ♪ 'Cause I think the rest of the world seems to do all right ♪ 484 00:28:42,824 --> 00:28:45,724 ♪ You wanna be flawless, you wanna be faultless ♪ 485 00:28:45,758 --> 00:28:48,657 ♪ Thinking that you got this, you wanna be good ♪ 486 00:28:48,692 --> 00:28:51,730 ♪ You wanna be ideal, not feel the need to conceal ♪ 487 00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:56,389 ♪ Break out of this raw deal, well maybe you could ♪ 488 00:28:56,424 --> 00:29:01,394 ♪ If only you made an effort ♪ 489 00:29:02,188 --> 00:29:05,951 ♪ Am I getting through ♪ 490 00:29:05,985 --> 00:29:10,679 ♪ Am I sounding solemn ♪ 491 00:29:10,714 --> 00:29:13,786 ♪ You think it's only you ♪ 492 00:29:13,821 --> 00:29:17,410 ♪ No one else has problems ♪ 493 00:29:19,033 --> 00:29:21,000 What a poor victim. 494 00:29:21,035 --> 00:29:24,141 ♪ You wanna be flawless, you wanna be faultless ♪ 495 00:29:24,176 --> 00:29:27,248 ♪ Thinking that you got this, you wanna be good ♪ 496 00:29:27,282 --> 00:29:30,320 ♪ You wanna be ideal, not feel the need to conceal ♪ 497 00:29:30,354 --> 00:29:35,014 ♪ Break out of this raw deal, well maybe you could ♪ 498 00:29:35,049 --> 00:29:40,019 ♪ If only you made an effort ♪ 499 00:29:41,331 --> 00:29:45,369 ♪ Peculiar feelings are becoming profuse ♪ 500 00:29:46,819 --> 00:29:50,374 ♪ Habitual inhibitions seem to tighten the noose ♪ 501 00:29:50,409 --> 00:29:53,964 ♪ Will you overcome ♪ 502 00:29:53,999 --> 00:29:57,381 ♪ Will you persevere ♪ 503 00:29:57,416 --> 00:30:02,386 ♪ Or will you just shed scarlet tears ♪ 504 00:30:04,941 --> 00:30:09,635 ♪ Are you doing enough ♪ 505 00:30:09,669 --> 00:30:13,915 ♪ Are you trying your best ♪ 506 00:30:13,950 --> 00:30:17,401 ♪ Is it really that tough ♪ 507 00:30:17,436 --> 00:30:22,406 ♪ 'Cause I think the rest of the world seems to do all right ♪ 508 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,171 ♪ Yeah, I think the rest of the world seems to do all right ♪ 509 00:30:44,981 --> 00:30:46,810 Isn't there one thing that strikes you as strange 510 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:49,054 in our sitting here like this? 511 00:30:49,088 --> 00:30:52,540 We have been married eight years now. 512 00:30:52,574 --> 00:30:55,715 Does it not occur to you that this is the first time us two, 513 00:30:55,750 --> 00:30:59,858 you and I, husband and wife have had a serious conversation? 514 00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:03,102 In all these eight years, no, longer than that even, 515 00:31:03,137 --> 00:31:05,346 from the very beginning of our acquaintance, 516 00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:08,073 we have never exchanged a word on a serious subject. 517 00:31:08,107 --> 00:31:10,109 And I'm not speaking about business matters. 518 00:31:10,144 --> 00:31:13,733 I'm saying that we have never sat down in earnest together 519 00:31:13,768 --> 00:31:15,183 to get at the bottom of anything. 520 00:31:15,218 --> 00:31:17,116 You have never understood me. 521 00:31:17,151 --> 00:31:18,738 You have never loved me. 522 00:31:18,773 --> 00:31:21,224 You only thought it pleasant to be in love with me. 523 00:31:21,258 --> 00:31:24,123 I was transferred from my father's hand to yours. 524 00:31:24,158 --> 00:31:26,505 You arranged everything according to your own taste, 525 00:31:26,539 --> 00:31:28,990 and so I got the same taste as you, 526 00:31:29,025 --> 00:31:31,268 or at least I pretended to. 527 00:31:32,752 --> 00:31:34,478 When I look back on it, it seems to me 528 00:31:34,513 --> 00:31:36,549 as if I had been living here like a poor woman, 529 00:31:36,584 --> 00:31:38,586 just from hand to mouth. 530 00:31:40,139 --> 00:31:43,867 I have merely existed to perform tricks for you. 531 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,007 But you would have it so. 532 00:31:46,042 --> 00:31:48,872 You and my father have committed a great sin against me. 533 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:53,877 It is your fault that I have made nothing of my life. 534 00:31:54,671 --> 00:31:55,603 Thank you. Thank you. 535 00:31:55,637 --> 00:31:56,984 Thank you, thank you. Thank you. 536 00:32:35,884 --> 00:32:38,094 It's gonna be a waste of time. 537 00:32:42,546 --> 00:32:44,721 Well, my name's Charles, but you already knew that 538 00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:47,448 'cause it was on the app. 539 00:32:47,482 --> 00:32:49,139 Let's see. What else? 540 00:32:49,174 --> 00:32:53,005 I went to Northwestern, engineering, mechanical. 541 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,939 I joined a pretty sweet co-op and now I'm full-time. 542 00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:57,458 So that's pretty cool. 543 00:32:57,492 --> 00:32:58,700 Let's see. Back to you. 544 00:32:58,735 --> 00:33:00,633 Oh, I saw a play once. 545 00:33:00,668 --> 00:33:02,049 God, what was it? 546 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,432 Dammit, oh, it's right on the tip of my tongue. 547 00:33:06,467 --> 00:33:08,331 It was a play called... 548 00:33:10,850 --> 00:33:14,337 So I live, like, right around the corner. 549 00:33:39,051 --> 00:33:41,053 ♪ Lay you down in the moonlight ♪ 550 00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:42,227 What? 551 00:33:42,261 --> 00:33:43,642 ♪ Girl, I make you feel all right ♪ 552 00:33:43,676 --> 00:33:47,059 Stop. 553 00:33:50,097 --> 00:33:52,927 ♪ Feeling unsure, I make a move ♪ 554 00:33:52,961 --> 00:33:56,137 ♪ Make it right, I'm make it smooth ♪ 555 00:33:56,172 --> 00:33:59,244 ♪ Circumstances seemed pretty odd ♪ 556 00:33:59,278 --> 00:34:01,591 ♪ Girl, now I can see the light of God ♪ 557 00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:03,696 All right. No, no, no. 558 00:34:03,731 --> 00:34:05,043 No, stop, stop. I just... 559 00:34:05,077 --> 00:34:07,804 I-I'm sorry, I... I can't, sorry. 560 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,083 You wanna take the lead? I'll sing back up. 561 00:34:11,118 --> 00:34:12,050 Bye. 562 00:34:17,986 --> 00:34:19,643 Well, he seemed nice. 563 00:34:19,678 --> 00:34:22,750 Waste of time. 564 00:34:22,784 --> 00:34:24,027 You were right. 565 00:34:24,993 --> 00:34:26,650 Keep that in mind. 566 00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:42,252 Hello? 567 00:34:43,805 --> 00:34:45,117 Hey. - Hey. 568 00:34:45,152 --> 00:34:47,292 Can we have an uncomfy conversation? 569 00:34:47,326 --> 00:34:48,914 Um... Okay, yeah. 570 00:34:52,504 --> 00:34:53,746 It's about rent. 571 00:34:53,781 --> 00:34:56,784 I know I've been pretty casual about it before, 572 00:34:56,818 --> 00:34:59,545 but I think that needs to stop. 573 00:34:59,580 --> 00:35:01,582 I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, 574 00:35:01,616 --> 00:35:04,619 but I'm planning on applying for grad school soon 575 00:35:04,654 --> 00:35:06,483 and that's gonna hurt. 576 00:35:07,795 --> 00:35:09,624 Wait, you're applying for grad school? 577 00:35:09,659 --> 00:35:11,039 Feels like it's time. 578 00:35:11,074 --> 00:35:13,766 Gonna get my MSN and work towards becoming an FNP. 579 00:35:13,801 --> 00:35:16,252 That's, like, a lot of letters going on there. 580 00:35:16,286 --> 00:35:17,667 Yeah. 581 00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:20,359 We're pretty brainy in the medical field. 582 00:35:20,394 --> 00:35:23,880 Yeah, I got that impression when I held your hair back 583 00:35:23,914 --> 00:35:26,089 and you missed throwing up in the toilet. 584 00:35:27,608 --> 00:35:30,335 And I will always cherish that. 585 00:35:31,612 --> 00:35:33,407 I'm not trying to get on you about the money. 586 00:35:33,441 --> 00:35:35,271 I just need you to pay on time. 587 00:35:35,305 --> 00:35:36,134 Heard. 588 00:35:37,307 --> 00:35:38,136 Okay. 589 00:35:41,242 --> 00:35:44,452 Now that that's over, I'm gonna go do anything else. 590 00:35:59,053 --> 00:36:00,261 Fourteen. 591 00:36:03,609 --> 00:36:05,232 Twenty-one. 592 00:36:09,581 --> 00:36:10,927 Twenty-six. 593 00:36:17,589 --> 00:36:18,486 Thirty-two. 594 00:36:24,389 --> 00:36:26,045 Thirty-eight. 595 00:36:33,260 --> 00:36:34,261 Forty-two. 596 00:36:39,162 --> 00:36:41,337 But you would have it so. 597 00:36:41,371 --> 00:36:44,547 You and my father have committed a great sin against me. 598 00:36:44,581 --> 00:36:48,861 It is your fault that I have made nothing of my life. 599 00:36:48,896 --> 00:36:49,724 Thank you. 600 00:36:56,075 --> 00:36:57,076 All right. 601 00:37:05,395 --> 00:37:08,260 What do you think? Give her a shot? 602 00:37:09,572 --> 00:37:10,814 I think we should give her a shot. 603 00:37:10,849 --> 00:37:13,783 Yeah, I think she's a good one. 604 00:37:13,817 --> 00:37:15,578 Would you stick around, please? 605 00:37:15,612 --> 00:37:16,717 Absolutely. 606 00:37:40,396 --> 00:37:41,673 All right, everyone, 607 00:37:41,707 --> 00:37:44,503 if you can all please line up in a row for us. 608 00:37:44,538 --> 00:37:46,022 Congratulations, ladies. 609 00:37:46,056 --> 00:37:49,612 You've all been selected for a callback tomorrow. 610 00:37:49,646 --> 00:37:53,650 Um... Angelica here has the sides for you. 611 00:37:53,685 --> 00:37:57,999 And you'll also need to set up a time slot with her. 612 00:37:59,415 --> 00:38:04,143 Um, I'm really sorry about the short notice on this, 613 00:38:04,178 --> 00:38:07,285 but the producers have been on our asses 614 00:38:07,319 --> 00:38:09,045 to get this cast by the end of the week. 615 00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:12,186 So, eh, we're trying to get the ball rolling. 616 00:38:12,220 --> 00:38:13,739 So, we'll see you then. 617 00:38:13,774 --> 00:38:15,154 - Thank you. - Okay. 618 00:38:15,189 --> 00:38:16,639 All right, yeah. Hi. 619 00:38:16,673 --> 00:38:18,192 Hi. 620 00:38:18,226 --> 00:38:20,263 Let's do our one o'clock tomorrow. 621 00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,782 Awesome. Thanks. 622 00:38:24,336 --> 00:38:25,613 - Hi. - Hi. 623 00:38:25,648 --> 00:38:27,891 I'm scheduled to work until 4:00 tomorrow. 624 00:38:27,926 --> 00:38:29,548 What's the latest spot that you have? 625 00:38:29,583 --> 00:38:31,757 The last time slot is 3:00 PM. 626 00:38:31,792 --> 00:38:32,862 Really? 627 00:38:32,896 --> 00:38:35,347 Yes. Is that all right? 628 00:38:35,382 --> 00:38:36,590 Yeah. I'll take that one. 629 00:38:36,624 --> 00:38:37,729 - Okay. Thank you. - Thank you. 630 00:38:37,763 --> 00:38:40,766 - Yeah, see you then. - See you. 631 00:38:40,801 --> 00:38:43,942 I haven't gotten your share of the cell phone bill. 632 00:38:43,976 --> 00:38:46,116 Um... Yeah, okay, um. 633 00:38:46,151 --> 00:38:49,257 I should be able to send that to you next week. 634 00:38:49,292 --> 00:38:50,466 Just a second, Mom. 635 00:38:55,540 --> 00:38:58,991 - Are you doing okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 636 00:38:59,026 --> 00:39:00,855 Are you doing okay? 637 00:39:00,890 --> 00:39:02,443 How are things there? 638 00:39:02,478 --> 00:39:05,481 Maya's very excited about the wedding of course. 639 00:39:05,515 --> 00:39:07,690 Other than that, things are pretty normal here. 640 00:39:07,724 --> 00:39:09,347 Not too much to report. 641 00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:11,210 Yeah. Just living the dream, right? 642 00:39:11,245 --> 00:39:12,833 [chuckles] Right. 643 00:39:12,867 --> 00:39:16,837 Hey honey, I'm sorry we didn't make it out to see your show. 644 00:39:16,871 --> 00:39:18,217 Going out there, it's a lot for us. 645 00:39:18,252 --> 00:39:20,910 Yeah, no, that's okay. I... 646 00:39:20,944 --> 00:39:22,705 I'm actually up for this other part now 647 00:39:22,739 --> 00:39:25,673 that's like a way bigger deal, so... 648 00:39:25,708 --> 00:39:26,916 Really? 649 00:39:26,950 --> 00:39:28,987 Yeah, I think so. Yeah. 650 00:39:30,333 --> 00:39:32,266 Well, we'll have to come see that one then. 651 00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:35,787 Hang on. Let me see where your dad is. 652 00:39:35,821 --> 00:39:38,686 Anthony, I've got Zoe on the phone. 653 00:39:40,619 --> 00:39:42,449 I think he's busy with something, Dear. 654 00:39:42,483 --> 00:39:44,002 Oh, that's okay. 655 00:39:44,036 --> 00:39:46,280 I-I should probably get going anyway. 656 00:39:46,314 --> 00:39:47,764 Okay. Talk to you later. 657 00:39:47,799 --> 00:39:50,249 Love you. - Okay. All right. 658 00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:51,389 Love you too. 659 00:39:52,493 --> 00:39:53,425 Bye. 660 00:40:12,686 --> 00:40:14,550 I know I took all of yesterday off, 661 00:40:14,584 --> 00:40:17,898 but I really need to leave early today. 662 00:40:17,932 --> 00:40:20,072 Kayla had to work a double yesterday. 663 00:40:20,107 --> 00:40:22,420 Isaac and Grace are both out sick. 664 00:40:22,454 --> 00:40:24,698 We're understaffed in general. I need you, Zoe. 665 00:40:24,732 --> 00:40:26,320 I know. That's why I'm here. 666 00:40:26,354 --> 00:40:29,323 But I'm begging you, I need to be gone by 2:30. 667 00:40:29,357 --> 00:40:30,773 You'll be the first person I cut. 668 00:40:30,807 --> 00:40:33,569 I appreciate it. 669 00:40:33,603 --> 00:40:36,226 Remember that when that party of nine gets here. 670 00:41:00,975 --> 00:41:03,357 Are you ready for your check now? 671 00:41:03,391 --> 00:41:04,669 Yes, please. 672 00:41:04,703 --> 00:41:07,326 - Here you go. - Okay. Thank you. 673 00:41:10,778 --> 00:41:11,676 Here you go. 674 00:41:13,229 --> 00:41:14,437 There you go. 675 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:15,680 I'll be right back with your change. 676 00:41:15,714 --> 00:41:17,129 Oh, well, hang on a second. Change. 677 00:41:17,164 --> 00:41:19,891 I got some change here. That reminds me. 678 00:41:19,925 --> 00:41:23,032 Let me just lighten my load a little here. 679 00:41:33,180 --> 00:41:35,389 There you go darling. - Thanks. 680 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:49,334 No. 681 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,615 - Go talk to him. - I can't talk to him. 682 00:41:54,650 --> 00:41:56,617 Dammit, I missed it. I fucking missed it. 683 00:41:56,652 --> 00:41:58,412 Stop him and make him give you a chance. 684 00:41:58,446 --> 00:41:59,724 There's nothing I can do. 685 00:41:59,758 --> 00:42:01,070 - You have to. - I can't 686 00:42:01,104 --> 00:42:03,141 - Go over there. - I can't. 687 00:42:03,175 --> 00:42:07,663 Do it or it'll all be for nothing, you piece of shit. 688 00:42:08,595 --> 00:42:10,044 Excuse me. 689 00:42:13,082 --> 00:42:15,015 You were the last girl, right? 690 00:42:15,049 --> 00:42:17,120 Geez, kid, you missed it. 691 00:42:18,052 --> 00:42:20,883 Everybody's gone home already. 692 00:42:20,917 --> 00:42:24,645 I'm sorry. That's just the way it goes sometimes. 693 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,441 What are you doing? - Look, I know, I know. 694 00:42:27,475 --> 00:42:28,649 I know I missed it. 695 00:42:28,684 --> 00:42:30,168 And the reason I missed it 696 00:42:30,202 --> 00:42:33,412 is because I'm working this demeaning, meaningless job 697 00:42:33,447 --> 00:42:35,518 where I'm expendable and replaceable. 698 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:38,072 But I have to work there or else I'd, you know, 699 00:42:38,107 --> 00:42:41,524 die of starvation or exposure or whatever the hell. 700 00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:42,801 And I'm working there 701 00:42:42,836 --> 00:42:44,562 so I'm able to go on auditions like this. 702 00:42:44,596 --> 00:42:46,011 But it's that same job that kept me 703 00:42:46,046 --> 00:42:47,668 from actually being here on time. 704 00:42:47,703 --> 00:42:49,256 And I-I know you don't give a shit, 705 00:42:49,290 --> 00:42:51,396 and I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty. 706 00:42:51,430 --> 00:42:52,949 I'm just saying that I get it. 707 00:42:52,984 --> 00:42:55,918 I know you've probably heard this same impassioned speech 708 00:42:55,952 --> 00:42:57,436 from dozens of desperate girls 709 00:42:57,471 --> 00:43:00,060 who are all just looking for a shred of hope. 710 00:43:00,094 --> 00:43:02,441 Hope that everything they've worked on for years, 711 00:43:02,476 --> 00:43:04,512 maybe their whole lives, wasn't for nothing. 712 00:43:04,547 --> 00:43:06,445 And, and maybe I'm just another one of those girls, 713 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,862 but I know for sure that I would hate myself 714 00:43:08,896 --> 00:43:10,967 if I just let you walk out of here without saying something. 715 00:43:11,002 --> 00:43:13,004 So please just give me a chance 716 00:43:13,038 --> 00:43:14,419 and you can be the one to decide 717 00:43:14,453 --> 00:43:18,596 whether or not I'm just another one of those girls. 718 00:43:22,841 --> 00:43:25,085 What's with the skates? 719 00:43:25,119 --> 00:43:27,570 I thought it'd be the fastest way to get here. 720 00:43:34,750 --> 00:43:36,199 We're having a chemistry read on Friday. 721 00:43:36,234 --> 00:43:37,511 Two girls I like from today 722 00:43:37,545 --> 00:43:40,997 are performing for us with the other lead. 723 00:43:42,689 --> 00:43:44,794 You can be the third. 9:00 AM, here. 724 00:43:44,829 --> 00:43:47,141 Oh my God. Thank you, thank you. 725 00:43:47,176 --> 00:43:49,212 Thank you. - See you then. 726 00:43:50,489 --> 00:43:51,698 Now would you get the fuck out of my way? 727 00:43:51,732 --> 00:43:53,147 Yeah. Sorry. 728 00:44:20,934 --> 00:44:23,453 It's time to work on the scene for tomorrow. 729 00:44:23,488 --> 00:44:26,629 I literally just got home from work. 730 00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,942 This is actual work. 731 00:44:28,976 --> 00:44:30,944 You slacked off enough yesterday. 732 00:44:30,978 --> 00:44:33,947 No, I did a bunch of read throughs last night. 733 00:44:33,981 --> 00:44:37,467 And I still would like to start with that tonight. 734 00:44:37,502 --> 00:44:39,193 I wanna ease into it 735 00:44:39,228 --> 00:44:42,818 and then I'll try to go totally off script, okay? 736 00:44:42,852 --> 00:44:45,683 Okay, fine. Just a read through. 737 00:44:54,312 --> 00:44:55,382 On your time. 738 00:44:56,452 --> 00:44:59,006 What are you doing here 739 00:44:59,041 --> 00:45:00,387 Again. 740 00:45:00,421 --> 00:45:02,044 What are you doing here 741 00:45:02,078 --> 00:45:03,148 Again. 742 00:45:06,807 --> 00:45:09,223 What are you doing here? 743 00:45:09,258 --> 00:45:12,054 Have you ever been surprised? 744 00:45:12,088 --> 00:45:15,229 Have you ever seen someone you didn't expect to see? 745 00:45:15,264 --> 00:45:18,267 Have you ever asked a question like I'm doing right now? 746 00:45:18,301 --> 00:45:19,924 Can we just move on and come back to it? 747 00:45:19,958 --> 00:45:22,858 So you can ask a question. 748 00:45:22,892 --> 00:45:26,309 The first words out of your mouth are the most important. 749 00:45:26,344 --> 00:45:27,586 You botch that up, 750 00:45:27,621 --> 00:45:29,278 you might as well go right back out the door. 751 00:45:29,312 --> 00:45:30,141 Again. 752 00:45:32,108 --> 00:45:35,008 What are you doing here? 753 00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:38,943 What? You didn't expect to ever see me again? 754 00:45:40,323 --> 00:45:41,497 I'm not doing this. We've been through enough. 755 00:45:41,531 --> 00:45:42,843 No. 756 00:45:42,878 --> 00:45:45,052 What was wrong with that? 757 00:45:45,087 --> 00:45:46,640 Consider the history. 758 00:45:46,674 --> 00:45:48,193 You two have deep history 759 00:45:48,228 --> 00:45:51,058 that you have very specific feelings about. 760 00:45:51,093 --> 00:45:53,992 I need to feel that history. Again. 761 00:45:55,373 --> 00:45:57,168 I'm not doing this. We've been through enough. 762 00:45:57,202 --> 00:45:58,548 No. 763 00:45:58,583 --> 00:45:59,687 Are you serious? 764 00:45:59,722 --> 00:46:01,413 No, that's not it. That's not it. 765 00:46:01,448 --> 00:46:02,276 Um... 766 00:46:03,795 --> 00:46:05,348 Consider this. 767 00:46:05,383 --> 00:46:07,730 There's already a version of this fight 768 00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:10,215 that you've had where you were irritated, 769 00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:12,804 but now you're drained, you don't have the energy. 770 00:46:12,839 --> 00:46:15,773 You are too tired to do this again. 771 00:46:23,988 --> 00:46:27,370 I'm not doing this. We've been through enough. 772 00:46:27,405 --> 00:46:29,441 Not enough for me. 773 00:46:29,476 --> 00:46:30,926 And frankly, I can't understand 774 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,825 how you could just forget everything I did 775 00:46:33,860 --> 00:46:35,965 when I'm the reason you matter. 776 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,417 - You're the reason? - That's right. 777 00:46:39,451 --> 00:46:43,352 Before me, you were a coward with a whiff of ambi-- 778 00:46:43,386 --> 00:46:44,974 What are you doing? 779 00:46:45,009 --> 00:46:47,011 - What are you talking about? - What are you doing? 780 00:46:47,045 --> 00:46:48,633 Waiting for you to finish your line? 781 00:46:48,667 --> 00:46:51,222 No shit. Have you ever tried acting? 782 00:46:51,256 --> 00:46:53,845 I thought we were just reading through it. 783 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,228 That doesn't mean you can't listen. 784 00:46:57,262 --> 00:47:00,610 They are not going to hand this to you. 785 00:47:00,645 --> 00:47:02,992 You cannot be lazy tomorrow. 786 00:47:03,027 --> 00:47:04,407 Cut the amateur crap. 787 00:47:04,442 --> 00:47:05,857 Get your head out of the script. 788 00:47:05,892 --> 00:47:07,031 Listen. React. 789 00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:15,039 Before me, you were a coward with a whiff of ambition. 790 00:47:15,073 --> 00:47:17,973 It's because of everything I did for you 791 00:47:18,007 --> 00:47:20,734 that you have purpose, that you matter. 792 00:47:20,768 --> 00:47:22,080 I did that for you. 793 00:47:22,115 --> 00:47:24,842 - You did it for yourself-- - Stop, stop. 794 00:47:24,876 --> 00:47:28,052 It is not prom night yet, you little slut. 795 00:47:28,086 --> 00:47:29,467 What the hell does that mean? 796 00:47:29,501 --> 00:47:32,608 You're giving it up too early. 797 00:47:32,642 --> 00:47:34,437 Have some quiet composure, 798 00:47:34,472 --> 00:47:36,198 otherwise it just turns into a screaming match. 799 00:47:36,232 --> 00:47:38,683 And that's not interesting. 800 00:47:38,717 --> 00:47:41,375 Let the rage boil up inside you. 801 00:47:44,792 --> 00:47:49,659 Before me, you were a coward with a whiff of ambition. 802 00:47:49,694 --> 00:47:53,284 It's because of everything I did for you 803 00:47:53,318 --> 00:47:56,908 that you have a purpose, that you matter. 804 00:47:56,943 --> 00:47:58,496 I did that for you. 805 00:47:58,530 --> 00:48:02,155 You did it for yourself. You're psychotic. 806 00:48:04,398 --> 00:48:05,468 You'll see. 807 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:07,746 Maybe not today, 808 00:48:08,989 --> 00:48:10,680 but one morning you'll wake up and realize 809 00:48:10,715 --> 00:48:15,168 you are not performing at the level that you used to. 810 00:48:15,202 --> 00:48:16,583 You're gonna realize how lucky you are 811 00:48:16,617 --> 00:48:18,965 that I focused on you... 812 00:48:18,999 --> 00:48:20,311 That I made you. 813 00:48:22,002 --> 00:48:24,936 You didn't make me anything. I got to where I am-- 814 00:48:24,971 --> 00:48:27,628 Now you have nothing for me? 815 00:48:27,663 --> 00:48:31,391 First, it's "you did," now it's [mumbles]. 816 00:48:31,425 --> 00:48:34,635 Come on! This is your moment. 817 00:48:34,670 --> 00:48:36,706 This is where all the catharsis comes together. 818 00:48:36,741 --> 00:48:38,329 This is your Tony. 819 00:48:38,363 --> 00:48:41,642 - I need a minute. - You don't have one. 820 00:48:41,677 --> 00:48:44,197 You have to do this tomorrow in front of people. 821 00:48:44,231 --> 00:48:45,715 Do you want them to see 822 00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:49,443 what a fucking disappointment you are? 823 00:48:49,478 --> 00:48:50,824 Oh. 824 00:48:50,858 --> 00:48:52,860 Well, that's productive. 825 00:48:53,723 --> 00:48:55,208 You gonna do that tomorrow? 826 00:48:55,242 --> 00:48:56,864 You're gonna cry in front of him like a little bitch? 827 00:48:56,899 --> 00:48:58,280 I'm not a little bitch. 828 00:48:58,314 --> 00:48:59,695 What was that, little bitch? 829 00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:01,007 You're the little bitch. 830 00:49:01,041 --> 00:49:02,318 What I'm seeing right now is a little bitch. 831 00:49:02,353 --> 00:49:04,665 - Little bitch. Little bitch. - Little bitch. 832 00:49:04,700 --> 00:49:06,495 - Little bitch. Little bitch. - Little bitch. Little bitch. 833 00:49:06,529 --> 00:49:08,393 - Little-- - Bitch. 834 00:49:08,428 --> 00:49:09,774 Yes! 835 00:49:09,808 --> 00:49:12,708 That's what we need. Use that. 836 00:49:12,742 --> 00:49:14,952 You didn't make me anything. 837 00:49:14,986 --> 00:49:16,263 I got to where I am 838 00:49:16,298 --> 00:49:19,715 because I worked my ass off every fucking day. 839 00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:21,959 I trained until I swept through my fucking shirt. 840 00:49:21,993 --> 00:49:23,270 I did that. 841 00:49:23,305 --> 00:49:25,514 All you ever did was make me miserable. 842 00:49:25,548 --> 00:49:28,586 You made me feel every single mistake. 843 00:49:28,620 --> 00:49:30,243 And despite your constant abuse, 844 00:49:30,277 --> 00:49:33,073 I still managed to find some sort of success. 845 00:49:33,108 --> 00:49:35,593 It has nothing to do with you. 846 00:49:38,699 --> 00:49:42,151 Since I left you, I've actually felt okay. 847 00:49:43,532 --> 00:49:47,398 So no, I don't think I need you, and I never did. 848 00:49:51,781 --> 00:49:54,094 Now, how did that feel? 849 00:49:54,129 --> 00:49:55,682 Good. 850 00:49:55,716 --> 00:49:57,235 'Cause it was real. 851 00:49:57,270 --> 00:49:59,237 It was raw. That was it. 852 00:50:00,445 --> 00:50:01,550 Let's run it back. 853 00:50:01,584 --> 00:50:03,931 You just said that that was it. 854 00:50:03,966 --> 00:50:05,692 The ending was it? 855 00:50:05,726 --> 00:50:08,315 You think we're just gonna do this one time? 856 00:50:08,350 --> 00:50:09,213 Come on. From the top. 857 00:50:31,373 --> 00:50:32,305 Fuck! 858 00:50:55,190 --> 00:50:57,295 Your safety is important. 859 00:50:57,330 --> 00:50:59,228 If you observe unattended packages, 860 00:50:59,263 --> 00:51:01,575 vandalism or suspicious activity, 861 00:51:01,610 --> 00:51:03,957 inform CTA personnel immediately. 862 00:51:03,991 --> 00:51:06,649 How the hell could I do this? 863 00:51:06,684 --> 00:51:08,548 I get a genuine shot at something life-changing 864 00:51:08,582 --> 00:51:10,308 and now it all comes down to whether or not 865 00:51:10,343 --> 00:51:13,070 the fucking green line is gonna be on time? 866 00:51:13,104 --> 00:51:13,932 Come on. 867 00:51:16,625 --> 00:51:18,696 Maybe I don't even deserve this. 868 00:51:18,730 --> 00:51:19,938 Fucking second time this week 869 00:51:19,973 --> 00:51:21,768 I'm scrambling to a scheduled audition. 870 00:51:21,802 --> 00:51:23,321 Who the hell does that? 871 00:51:23,356 --> 00:51:25,116 Apparently I do. 872 00:51:25,151 --> 00:51:28,154 I try to be professional for these things. I really do. 873 00:51:28,188 --> 00:51:30,397 I try to look nice, use my manners, 874 00:51:30,432 --> 00:51:32,158 but not come off like a robot. 875 00:51:32,192 --> 00:51:34,574 Polished but not overly manufactured. 876 00:51:34,608 --> 00:51:36,058 Serious and collected, 877 00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,647 but still be friendly and give off warm vibes. 878 00:51:38,681 --> 00:51:41,995 Being observed by one, three, five, however many strangers 879 00:51:42,029 --> 00:51:44,998 who are judging every little micro action I do. 880 00:51:45,032 --> 00:51:46,793 And then they have the power to squash my dreams 881 00:51:46,827 --> 00:51:48,450 without giving it a second thought. 882 00:51:48,484 --> 00:51:49,830 Or they like me, 883 00:51:49,865 --> 00:51:53,006 but it does absolutely fuck all for my life. 884 00:51:54,870 --> 00:51:55,664 Jesus. 885 00:51:57,459 --> 00:51:59,254 I sound like I don't even wanna do this. 886 00:51:59,288 --> 00:52:01,290 I do wanna do this. I need to do this. 887 00:52:01,325 --> 00:52:05,329 If I'm not doing this, then what the hell am I doing? 888 00:52:05,363 --> 00:52:09,126 I mean, this is the whole point of everything. 889 00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:10,920 Right? 890 00:52:11,990 --> 00:52:14,407 This is Ashland. 891 00:52:14,441 --> 00:52:15,684 Morgan is next. 892 00:52:21,068 --> 00:52:21,862 Nothing? 893 00:52:24,382 --> 00:52:26,212 I'm here. Sorry. 894 00:52:26,246 --> 00:52:27,765 I'm here. 895 00:53:08,806 --> 00:53:09,600 Hello. 896 00:53:10,635 --> 00:53:11,705 Yes, this is-- 897 00:53:14,363 --> 00:53:15,813 Oh. 898 00:53:15,847 --> 00:53:16,676 Yeah, no. 899 00:53:18,402 --> 00:53:19,196 Of course. 900 00:53:21,888 --> 00:53:22,820 Absolutely. 901 00:53:24,373 --> 00:53:25,892 Thank you. 902 00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:54,265 Depression's a hard thing to explain. 903 00:53:55,266 --> 00:53:57,544 It's not really sadness. 904 00:53:57,579 --> 00:54:01,341 If it were that, then it would be easy to describe. 905 00:54:01,376 --> 00:54:03,170 Everyone feels sad sometimes. 906 00:54:03,205 --> 00:54:07,140 But this... This is noticeably different. 907 00:54:07,174 --> 00:54:09,315 It's an emptiness, apathy. 908 00:54:10,799 --> 00:54:13,491 An incapability of feeling desire. 909 00:54:14,596 --> 00:54:15,873 And you're aware that it's happening. 910 00:54:15,907 --> 00:54:18,116 Like, you know this isn't right 911 00:54:18,151 --> 00:54:19,704 and not how you're supposed to feel. 912 00:54:19,739 --> 00:54:24,709 But also you can't really remember what normal feels like. 913 00:54:25,469 --> 00:54:27,264 I would just go to sleep 914 00:54:27,298 --> 00:54:30,025 and hope I felt better the next day. 915 00:54:30,059 --> 00:54:33,649 Best-case scenario is you're able to go through the motions 916 00:54:33,684 --> 00:54:35,651 of your typical routine. 917 00:54:35,686 --> 00:54:38,654 You don't make great art when you're depressed. 918 00:54:38,689 --> 00:54:41,139 You don't make anything. 919 00:54:41,174 --> 00:54:43,072 There's nothing beautiful about it. 920 00:54:43,107 --> 00:54:45,558 No quirky charm to it. It just sucks. 921 00:54:45,592 --> 00:54:48,146 There are families 922 00:54:48,181 --> 00:54:51,495 that have lost their homes in wildfires, 923 00:54:52,806 --> 00:54:56,293 children gunned down in their own schools, 924 00:54:58,743 --> 00:55:03,230 people this very moment living in concentration camps, 925 00:55:06,889 --> 00:55:09,513 and you think you've got it bad? 926 00:55:10,928 --> 00:55:14,311 I didn't leave my room for three days, 927 00:55:14,345 --> 00:55:17,659 and I didn't leave my apartment for another six. 928 00:55:17,693 --> 00:55:21,318 It hadn't been that bad since freshman year. 929 00:55:21,352 --> 00:55:24,631 But eventually things started to feel a little bit better, 930 00:55:24,666 --> 00:55:27,531 so I decided to go see a show, 931 00:55:27,565 --> 00:55:31,328 try to find solace in the place I usually do. 932 00:55:34,227 --> 00:55:36,436 - You're up, ma'am. - What? Huh? 933 00:55:36,471 --> 00:55:37,299 Oh. Um... 934 00:55:40,578 --> 00:55:43,616 Can I just get a hard cider? - Sure thing. 935 00:55:51,796 --> 00:55:53,280 - Enjoy. - You too. 936 00:56:12,127 --> 00:56:14,371 The day is May 7th, 1901. 937 00:56:15,613 --> 00:56:17,719 The time, just about dawn. 938 00:56:19,306 --> 00:56:22,724 Yep, [chuckles] just about. 939 00:56:22,758 --> 00:56:25,105 The sun is beginning to show these streaks of light 940 00:56:25,140 --> 00:56:28,108 over in the east, over our mountain. 941 00:56:31,318 --> 00:56:33,735 Well, yes, I better tell you how our town lies. 942 00:56:33,769 --> 00:56:35,599 Up here's Main Street. 943 00:56:35,633 --> 00:56:38,498 Way back there, that's the railway station. 944 00:56:38,533 --> 00:56:40,224 Polish Town's just across the tracks. 945 00:56:43,054 --> 00:56:45,125 Could I get two glasses of rose? 946 00:56:46,368 --> 00:56:47,611 Enjoy. 947 00:56:52,029 --> 00:56:55,377 It's been nine years, friends. 948 00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:56,482 Summer, 1913. 949 00:57:02,246 --> 00:57:04,386 Gradual changes here in Grover's Corners. 950 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:05,836 Horses are rarer now. 951 00:57:05,870 --> 00:57:08,908 Farmers come to town in Fords. 952 00:57:08,942 --> 00:57:12,394 Everyone locks their doors at night now. 953 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:14,776 Ain't been any burglars in town yet. 954 00:57:14,810 --> 00:57:17,710 But everybody's heard about 'em. 955 00:57:17,744 --> 00:57:19,850 You'd be surprised though, 956 00:57:19,884 --> 00:57:23,612 on the whole things don't change much around here. 957 00:57:23,647 --> 00:57:27,064 This here's the new part of the cemetery. 958 00:57:27,098 --> 00:57:29,618 Here's your friend, Mrs. Gibbs. 959 00:57:29,653 --> 00:57:30,930 Let me see. 960 00:57:30,964 --> 00:57:34,174 Ah, here's Mr. Stimson and Mrs. Soames, 961 00:57:36,314 --> 00:57:37,971 and a lot of others. 962 00:57:39,663 --> 00:57:42,528 Now, there are some things that we all know, 963 00:57:42,562 --> 00:57:46,946 but we don't take 'em out and look at 'em very often. 964 00:57:46,980 --> 00:57:50,432 There's something we all know that's eternal. 965 00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:54,712 Everybody knows in their bones that something is eternal. 966 00:57:54,747 --> 00:57:58,613 And that something has to do with human beings. 967 00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:02,237 There's something way down deep 968 00:58:02,271 --> 00:58:06,034 that's eternal about every human being. 969 00:58:06,068 --> 00:58:08,761 There's some living people. 970 00:58:08,795 --> 00:58:11,246 That's Joe Stoddard, our undertaker. 971 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,523 He's overseeing a new grave. 972 00:58:12,558 --> 00:58:15,837 And oh, here comes a Grover's Corner boy 973 00:58:17,873 --> 00:58:20,358 who grew up and went out west. 974 00:58:34,131 --> 00:58:36,064 God, you're pathetic. 975 00:58:38,135 --> 00:58:39,723 What are you doing? 976 00:58:40,896 --> 00:58:42,242 Do you realize this is why 977 00:58:42,277 --> 00:58:44,590 your parents are disappointed in you? 978 00:58:44,624 --> 00:58:47,385 You know, they say they believe in you, 979 00:58:47,420 --> 00:58:49,387 say that they support you. 980 00:58:49,422 --> 00:58:51,320 They don't actually mean that. 981 00:58:51,355 --> 00:58:54,945 What they want you to be is more like your sister. 982 00:58:54,979 --> 00:58:56,705 She's got a good job. 983 00:58:58,189 --> 00:59:02,884 She makes more money in a week than you do in a month. 984 00:59:02,918 --> 00:59:04,402 And she's engaged. 985 00:59:06,025 --> 00:59:08,993 Your little sister is engaged. 986 00:59:09,028 --> 00:59:12,652 She's gonna have a family before long. 987 00:59:12,687 --> 00:59:14,999 You could never be a mother. 988 00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:19,866 You could never be productive like her or your friends 989 00:59:19,901 --> 00:59:21,696 who are actually making a living 990 00:59:21,730 --> 00:59:24,630 doing the things they went to school for, 991 00:59:24,664 --> 00:59:27,736 because they have degrees that matter. 992 00:59:27,771 --> 00:59:30,187 You pissed thousands of dollars away 993 00:59:30,221 --> 00:59:33,846 to be the personification of global warming. 994 00:59:36,952 --> 00:59:39,576 And Leala wants you to move out. 995 00:59:40,922 --> 00:59:45,271 She doesn't say it because she feels sorry for you, 996 00:59:45,305 --> 00:59:47,618 because she's tired of watching you fail 997 00:59:47,653 --> 00:59:49,309 over and over again. 998 00:59:51,173 --> 00:59:54,694 She's tired of you not paying rent on time. 999 00:59:56,075 --> 00:59:59,803 She doesn't say that because she's a good friend. 1000 01:00:00,976 --> 01:00:04,083 Know why you can't be a good friend? 1001 01:00:04,117 --> 01:00:06,016 Because you're selfish. 1002 01:00:07,638 --> 01:00:10,296 Because you think you're special. 1003 01:00:10,330 --> 01:00:12,298 Because you think 1004 01:00:12,332 --> 01:00:16,302 that everything is supposed to be handed to you. 1005 01:00:18,373 --> 01:00:19,926 You're not special. 1006 01:00:21,410 --> 01:00:23,067 You're not talented. 1007 01:00:24,137 --> 01:00:26,623 You just haven't given up yet. 1008 01:00:28,901 --> 01:00:31,593 But you probably should. 1009 01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:33,595 You don't have range. 1010 01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:35,459 You're not convincing. 1011 01:00:36,494 --> 01:00:37,737 You're a fraud. 1012 01:00:40,257 --> 01:00:42,569 You're not even that pretty. 1013 01:00:43,501 --> 01:00:46,504 This isn't gonna happen for you. 1014 01:00:46,539 --> 01:00:49,887 You don't have a story worth telling. 1015 01:00:49,922 --> 01:00:51,130 So just quit... 1016 01:00:54,581 --> 01:00:55,962 or kill yourself. 1017 01:00:57,550 --> 01:00:58,516 You dumb cunt. 1018 01:01:36,623 --> 01:01:37,763 Zoe? 1019 01:01:40,282 --> 01:01:41,111 Zoe? 1020 01:01:42,629 --> 01:01:43,700 Are you okay? 1021 01:02:00,682 --> 01:02:01,959 What's going on? 1022 01:02:04,030 --> 01:02:07,206 There was a time when I was eight years old, 1023 01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:11,313 I was sick and I thought I was going to die. 1024 01:02:11,348 --> 01:02:13,557 I mean, it was just a cold, 1025 01:02:13,591 --> 01:02:16,491 but I was all stuffed up, you know? 1026 01:02:17,699 --> 01:02:21,254 Like, I couldn't breathe through my nose at all, 1027 01:02:21,289 --> 01:02:25,086 so I had to breathe through my mouth. 1028 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:29,331 And I remember that even though I felt terrible, 1029 01:02:29,366 --> 01:02:33,404 I stayed up late because I thought if I went to sleep 1030 01:02:33,439 --> 01:02:36,235 I wasn't gonna be able to keep breathing through my mouth 1031 01:02:36,269 --> 01:02:37,615 and I would die. 1032 01:02:39,514 --> 01:02:41,274 I know that's partially hilarious 1033 01:02:41,309 --> 01:02:43,000 because I was just some dumb kid, 1034 01:02:43,035 --> 01:02:45,762 but it's also really fucking sad. 1035 01:02:48,523 --> 01:02:50,870 I had convinced myself that if I went to sleep, 1036 01:02:50,905 --> 01:02:52,492 I was going to die. 1037 01:02:54,356 --> 01:02:55,357 I was eight. 1038 01:02:56,669 --> 01:02:58,809 That's what you're in here thinking about? 1039 01:02:58,844 --> 01:03:01,191 There are tens of thousands of people 1040 01:03:01,225 --> 01:03:03,814 who have the same dream that I have, 1041 01:03:03,849 --> 01:03:05,609 and some of them probably want it even more. 1042 01:03:05,643 --> 01:03:08,508 They're willing to do more than I am, work more than I am. 1043 01:03:08,543 --> 01:03:10,890 I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to compete 1044 01:03:10,925 --> 01:03:13,237 with all these people? 1045 01:03:13,272 --> 01:03:14,066 Because you're talented, Zoe. 1046 01:03:14,100 --> 01:03:15,584 No, it's bullshit. 1047 01:03:15,619 --> 01:03:18,415 - No, it's not. - It is. No, it is. 1048 01:03:19,381 --> 01:03:20,797 The reality is... 1049 01:03:22,660 --> 01:03:23,938 I'm not special. 1050 01:03:23,972 --> 01:03:26,285 Of course, you're special. 1051 01:03:28,011 --> 01:03:31,290 I know that you care about me. 1052 01:03:31,324 --> 01:03:34,086 I know that you need to tell me that I'm great 1053 01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:36,674 and that you believe in me, 1054 01:03:36,709 --> 01:03:40,471 and you're such a good friend for doing that. 1055 01:03:40,506 --> 01:03:41,748 And I'm a shitty friend 1056 01:03:41,783 --> 01:03:44,821 because I'm gonna be late on rent again. 1057 01:03:47,237 --> 01:03:48,617 And I'm so sorry. 1058 01:03:49,722 --> 01:03:52,138 I'm sorry that I'm a failure 1059 01:03:52,173 --> 01:03:54,589 and I racked up debt for a bullshit degree. 1060 01:03:54,623 --> 01:03:58,248 And three years later, I'm 25 with a fucking serving job, 1061 01:03:58,282 --> 01:04:03,253 and I'm not any closer to being where I wanted to be. 1062 01:04:04,530 --> 01:04:07,567 I needed this. I fucking needed this so badly. 1063 01:04:07,602 --> 01:04:09,190 I still need this, and I have no idea 1064 01:04:09,224 --> 01:04:11,571 how I'm supposed to get it. 1065 01:04:11,606 --> 01:04:13,919 So you know what? 1066 01:04:13,953 --> 01:04:15,748 I might as well just stop trying. 1067 01:04:15,782 --> 01:04:19,407 I-I failed. I fucking failed, and that's it. 1068 01:04:22,203 --> 01:04:24,136 I'm so scared I'm gonna wake up one morning 1069 01:04:24,170 --> 01:04:27,070 and not be able to do this anymore. 1070 01:04:28,071 --> 01:04:29,589 You will. 1071 01:04:29,624 --> 01:04:31,488 I know you will. 1072 01:04:31,522 --> 01:04:35,526 You've got a drive in you unlike anyone else I know. 1073 01:04:35,561 --> 01:04:37,390 I mean: any of this. 1074 01:04:40,186 --> 01:04:41,429 What? 1075 01:04:42,602 --> 01:04:43,914 I'm scared I'm gonna wake up one day 1076 01:04:43,949 --> 01:04:46,883 and not be able to do this anymore. 1077 01:04:51,059 --> 01:04:52,267 It's okay. 1078 01:05:41,558 --> 01:05:43,180 How's Josh, Maya? 1079 01:05:43,215 --> 01:05:44,802 Yeah, I thought he was coming with you tonight. 1080 01:05:44,837 --> 01:05:48,910 Yeah, he's good. And he was supposed to. 1081 01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:51,085 Sounds like you're holding out on us. 1082 01:05:51,119 --> 01:05:53,535 Well, I didn't wanna say anything, 1083 01:05:53,570 --> 01:05:57,056 but it looks like we got a house. 1084 01:05:57,091 --> 01:05:58,575 You got a house? 1085 01:05:58,609 --> 01:06:02,613 Well, we put in an offer, so it's not official yet, 1086 01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:04,339 but it sounds like it's ours. 1087 01:06:04,374 --> 01:06:05,858 Well, that's terrific. 1088 01:06:05,892 --> 01:06:07,204 Congratulations, Dear. 1089 01:06:07,239 --> 01:06:08,688 Yeah. Wow. 1090 01:06:08,723 --> 01:06:10,173 Well, when will you know for sure? 1091 01:06:10,207 --> 01:06:13,279 Tomorrow, so hopefully I haven't jinxed anything. 1092 01:06:13,314 --> 01:06:16,593 But I was thinking that maybe we could go this weekend 1093 01:06:16,627 --> 01:06:19,906 and check it out and then grab dinner and celebrate. 1094 01:06:19,941 --> 01:06:21,080 Of course we will. 1095 01:06:21,115 --> 01:06:23,876 I'm so proud of you. - Thanks, Dad. 1096 01:06:28,018 --> 01:06:29,571 So Zoe, you never told us about 1097 01:06:29,606 --> 01:06:32,264 what happened with that big part you were up for. 1098 01:06:32,298 --> 01:06:36,026 Yeah, I, um... I didn't get that one. 1099 01:06:36,061 --> 01:06:37,303 Oh, I'm sorry, Sweetie. 1100 01:06:37,338 --> 01:06:40,617 I know you were really excited about it. 1101 01:06:42,170 --> 01:06:45,277 You know, Sweetie, you don't have to keep on doing this. 1102 01:06:45,311 --> 01:06:47,037 - What? - Anthony? 1103 01:06:47,072 --> 01:06:50,040 I'm just saying. Zoe's been working hard, 1104 01:06:50,075 --> 01:06:52,767 and I know that's an understatement. 1105 01:06:52,801 --> 01:06:54,286 You've been killing yourself in Chicago 1106 01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:56,219 for three years at this point. 1107 01:06:56,253 --> 01:06:57,841 And I know you. 1108 01:06:57,875 --> 01:07:00,671 I can tell you've been giving it your all. 1109 01:07:00,706 --> 01:07:03,502 It's okay if you feel like you wanna hang it up. 1110 01:07:03,536 --> 01:07:05,573 You think I should stop? 1111 01:07:05,607 --> 01:07:06,884 I want you to be happy. 1112 01:07:06,919 --> 01:07:09,197 I want you both to be happy. 1113 01:07:09,232 --> 01:07:10,819 Have everything you need. 1114 01:07:10,854 --> 01:07:12,614 But you don't think I'm good enough? 1115 01:07:12,649 --> 01:07:14,375 You don't think I can do it. 1116 01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:16,791 I'm your biggest fan. 1117 01:07:16,825 --> 01:07:21,244 I've been to every show you've ever done growing up, 1118 01:07:21,278 --> 01:07:23,591 and you're very talented. 1119 01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:24,764 I just think at this point 1120 01:07:24,799 --> 01:07:27,215 you need to look at other options. 1121 01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:29,390 There's an opening at my office. 1122 01:07:29,424 --> 01:07:31,288 You'd be perfect for it. 1123 01:07:31,323 --> 01:07:35,499 Or, maybe there's other routes you could pursue. 1124 01:07:35,534 --> 01:07:37,570 All I'm saying is at this point, 1125 01:07:37,605 --> 01:07:40,125 I think you need to consider all your options. 1126 01:07:40,159 --> 01:07:41,057 That's all. 1127 01:07:59,109 --> 01:08:00,628 - Hi. - Howdy, stranger. 1128 01:08:00,662 --> 01:08:04,425 Oh, they got cowboys in Chicago now? 1129 01:08:04,459 --> 01:08:05,874 Come in. - Hey. 1130 01:08:05,909 --> 01:08:07,428 - Good to see you. - Good to see you. Missed you 1131 01:08:09,188 --> 01:08:10,741 Get in there. 1132 01:08:12,122 --> 01:08:14,331 ♪ I'm the same in public not just privately ♪ 1133 01:08:14,366 --> 01:08:17,748 ♪ You can't decide on me, that's just a vibe ♪ 1134 01:08:17,783 --> 01:08:20,061 ♪ Waiting for this moment, I'm like finally ♪ 1135 01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:23,340 ♪ You can't decide on me, that's just a hey ♪ 1136 01:08:28,173 --> 01:08:29,691 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1137 01:08:29,726 --> 01:08:31,003 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1138 01:08:31,037 --> 01:08:33,557 Yes, it's so good. It feels so cohesive. 1139 01:08:33,592 --> 01:08:35,697 It's... it's amazing. 1140 01:08:35,732 --> 01:08:36,733 Thank you. 1141 01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:41,910 - Wow. - What? 1142 01:08:43,464 --> 01:08:46,881 - You're really doing it. - Clearly. 1143 01:08:46,915 --> 01:08:49,918 Hayden, you're making stuff. Good stuff. 1144 01:08:49,953 --> 01:08:52,162 I'm trying, Dude. Trying. 1145 01:08:54,854 --> 01:08:58,548 Do you ever feel like you made the wrong choice? 1146 01:08:58,582 --> 01:09:00,205 Of what? 1147 01:09:00,239 --> 01:09:02,621 What you're doing? 1148 01:09:02,655 --> 01:09:04,933 What else would I do? 1149 01:09:04,968 --> 01:09:06,763 I don't... I don't know. I just... 1150 01:09:06,797 --> 01:09:08,661 I see all these people getting good jobs 1151 01:09:08,696 --> 01:09:10,629 and buying a house and having kids, 1152 01:09:10,663 --> 01:09:12,562 and it's like, what the hell am I doing? 1153 01:09:12,596 --> 01:09:13,873 All right, first off, 1154 01:09:13,908 --> 01:09:15,392 no one should be having kids right now, okay? 1155 01:09:15,427 --> 01:09:18,119 Children are terrifying. 1156 01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:19,776 I mean, you really wanna push 1157 01:09:19,810 --> 01:09:23,055 a 12-pound alien-headed bowling ball out of your vagina, 1158 01:09:23,089 --> 01:09:25,161 making you just shit everywhere? 1159 01:09:25,195 --> 01:09:27,024 That's disgusting. 1160 01:09:27,059 --> 01:09:29,613 Besides, we're in our twenties, we have plenty of time. 1161 01:09:29,648 --> 01:09:32,720 No, like, like take The Beatles, for example. 1162 01:09:32,754 --> 01:09:35,032 Even by the time they broke up, you know, 1163 01:09:35,067 --> 01:09:37,690 after they'd made a dozen great albums, 1164 01:09:37,725 --> 01:09:39,278 they were still all in their twenties. 1165 01:09:39,313 --> 01:09:40,728 Fuck The Beatles, okay? 1166 01:09:40,762 --> 01:09:42,937 I'm not the fucking Beatles and I don't wanna be. 1167 01:09:42,971 --> 01:09:45,905 I just wanna be me. Just me. 1168 01:09:45,940 --> 01:09:47,459 Are you happy? 1169 01:09:47,493 --> 01:09:51,773 I mean, I don't think I'm any more miserable making music 1170 01:09:51,808 --> 01:09:54,776 than I would be doing anything else. 1171 01:09:56,157 --> 01:09:59,402 Yeah, no, definitely less miserable making music 1172 01:09:59,436 --> 01:10:02,232 because making shit is dope. 1173 01:10:02,267 --> 01:10:04,614 Even if you could be doing something more stable? 1174 01:10:04,648 --> 01:10:06,788 Look, I mean, this is what I love. 1175 01:10:06,823 --> 01:10:08,134 It's the end of the story. 1176 01:10:08,169 --> 01:10:10,827 Sure, do I wish I didn't have to grind 1177 01:10:10,861 --> 01:10:12,829 just to pay bills every month? 1178 01:10:12,863 --> 01:10:14,279 Yeah. 1179 01:10:14,313 --> 01:10:17,765 Do I wish more people listen to my shit? Of course. 1180 01:10:17,799 --> 01:10:19,284 But I found what I love 1181 01:10:19,318 --> 01:10:21,769 and now I'm moving toward it, you know? 1182 01:10:21,803 --> 01:10:23,357 I mean, even when I get so pissed, 1183 01:10:23,391 --> 01:10:26,567 I-I feel like I wanna quit, at the end of the day 1184 01:10:26,601 --> 01:10:29,294 there's just nothing I'd rather be frustrated by. 1185 01:10:29,328 --> 01:10:30,674 But why do you get so frustrated 1186 01:10:30,709 --> 01:10:32,780 if it's what you're supposed to be doing? 1187 01:10:32,814 --> 01:10:35,300 Because ambition is a bitch. 1188 01:10:35,334 --> 01:10:36,991 And you can hate doing what you love sometimes, 1189 01:10:37,025 --> 01:10:40,270 but you can't hate yourself for loving it. 1190 01:10:40,305 --> 01:10:42,824 I don't know. I just... 1191 01:10:42,859 --> 01:10:47,035 I feel so fucked up and I don't know what to do about it. 1192 01:10:47,070 --> 01:10:48,658 Yeah. 1193 01:10:48,692 --> 01:10:51,626 We're all made of the shit we don't want anyone else to see. 1194 01:10:51,661 --> 01:10:53,007 Damn. 1195 01:10:53,041 --> 01:10:54,526 I should... I should write that down, right? 1196 01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:57,667 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1197 01:10:57,701 --> 01:11:02,154 You know, it's okay to feel fucked up sometimes, 1198 01:11:02,188 --> 01:11:05,399 but if you're feeling like that every day, 1199 01:11:05,433 --> 01:11:07,159 take a step back, 1200 01:11:07,193 --> 01:11:09,851 take a breath, shake things up a little bit. 1201 01:11:09,886 --> 01:11:12,647 Have you always been spouting philosophical shit? 1202 01:11:12,682 --> 01:11:16,858 I am a little high right now. 1203 01:11:19,033 --> 01:11:22,001 But you can always talk to me, Zoe. 1204 01:11:22,036 --> 01:11:23,865 Thanks. Back at you. 1205 01:11:25,108 --> 01:11:26,420 Even though you got it all figured out. 1206 01:11:26,454 --> 01:11:28,870 Oh. 1207 01:11:28,905 --> 01:11:30,631 Definitely do not have it all figured out. 1208 01:11:30,665 --> 01:11:35,256 But I have gotten pretty good at faking it though, huh? 1209 01:11:36,395 --> 01:11:38,777 Anything else on your mind? 1210 01:11:42,608 --> 01:11:45,542 I don't think I actually know what a 401k is. 1211 01:11:48,269 --> 01:11:49,097 Yeah. 1212 01:11:50,996 --> 01:11:53,550 Hey, you wanna get in the stu? 1213 01:11:53,585 --> 01:11:54,793 - Seriously? - Yeah. 1214 01:11:54,827 --> 01:11:56,208 Come on, let's go lay something down. 1215 01:13:19,740 --> 01:13:23,088 I found this letter I had to write to myself 1216 01:13:23,122 --> 01:13:25,090 from my freshman English class. 1217 01:13:25,124 --> 01:13:27,989 I got it back right before graduation, 1218 01:13:28,024 --> 01:13:29,266 so I've read it before, 1219 01:13:29,301 --> 01:13:32,649 but this time it hit a little different. 1220 01:13:32,684 --> 01:13:35,790 I think when you're going after something so big, 1221 01:13:35,825 --> 01:13:39,967 it can feel like you're shouting into this giant void, 1222 01:13:40,001 --> 01:13:41,762 which seems like a pointless thing to do. 1223 01:13:41,796 --> 01:13:46,560 But then you think, "I just need one person to hear me," 1224 01:13:46,594 --> 01:13:49,942 and so you shout a little louder. 1225 01:13:49,977 --> 01:13:53,843 The thing is, if all you're doing is shouting your head off, 1226 01:13:53,877 --> 01:13:58,226 then how the hell are you going to listen to anything? 1227 01:13:58,261 --> 01:14:02,127 I don't know. Something finally clicked for me. 1228 01:14:25,702 --> 01:14:27,635 I thought I was going to dread coming back, 1229 01:14:27,670 --> 01:14:29,292 but I was actually excited 1230 01:14:29,326 --> 01:14:32,537 because I wanted to make some changes. 1231 01:14:32,571 --> 01:14:34,815 And things have been slowly improving. 1232 01:14:34,849 --> 01:14:37,783 I've been spending more time with my best friend. 1233 01:14:37,818 --> 01:14:39,992 She just got accepted into DePaul 1234 01:14:40,027 --> 01:14:43,202 and is gonna be a family nurse practitioner. 1235 01:14:43,237 --> 01:14:45,929 I started seeing someone. 1236 01:14:45,964 --> 01:14:48,414 I think that it's going pretty well. 1237 01:14:48,449 --> 01:14:51,832 Turns out it's a lot easier to like other people 1238 01:14:51,866 --> 01:14:53,385 when you like yourself. 1239 01:14:53,419 --> 01:14:55,180 And I've been doing some therapy, 1240 01:14:55,214 --> 01:14:57,527 well, like, teletherapy, 1241 01:14:57,562 --> 01:15:00,426 because regular therapy is expensive 1242 01:15:00,461 --> 01:15:02,221 and insurance is broken. 1243 01:15:02,256 --> 01:15:04,776 And honestly, even teletherapy is hella expensive. 1244 01:15:04,810 --> 01:15:07,951 And sorry, that's a whole other thing. 1245 01:15:09,332 --> 01:15:13,336 I wouldn't say I'm better, but I'm doing better. 1246 01:15:13,370 --> 01:15:14,958 Does that sound stupid? 1247 01:15:14,993 --> 01:15:16,408 I don't know if this gets easier, 1248 01:15:16,442 --> 01:15:19,273 but I know I wanna keep on trying. 1249 01:15:21,793 --> 01:15:24,761 Where do you think you're going? 1250 01:15:24,796 --> 01:15:25,935 An audition. 1251 01:15:26,867 --> 01:15:28,420 Why? 1252 01:15:28,454 --> 01:15:29,766 Why do you think? 1253 01:15:29,801 --> 01:15:32,044 I'm scratching my head over here? 1254 01:15:32,079 --> 01:15:35,461 I thought we agreed you couldn't do this. 1255 01:15:36,635 --> 01:15:38,016 Just saying, 'cause, you know, 1256 01:15:38,050 --> 01:15:39,258 we've been down this road before 1257 01:15:39,293 --> 01:15:41,433 and it's the same thing every single time. 1258 01:15:41,467 --> 01:15:43,573 Well, maybe this time it'll be different. 1259 01:15:43,608 --> 01:15:45,126 Maybe it won't. 1260 01:15:45,161 --> 01:15:48,060 Probably won't because you decided to take some time off, 1261 01:15:48,095 --> 01:15:49,786 so now we're rusty and you need to-- 1262 01:15:49,821 --> 01:15:51,167 You're not me. 1263 01:15:51,201 --> 01:15:53,756 No matter how much you wanna be. 1264 01:15:53,790 --> 01:15:55,378 Of course I'm you. 1265 01:15:55,412 --> 01:15:58,036 If I'm not you, then who the hell am I? 1266 01:15:58,070 --> 01:16:01,177 I'm you. And I'm always gonna be around. 1267 01:16:01,211 --> 01:16:03,800 You're not. You're nothing. 1268 01:16:03,835 --> 01:16:06,216 I don't need you to exist. You need me. 1269 01:16:06,251 --> 01:16:09,150 I'm my own person with my own thoughts separate from you, 1270 01:16:09,185 --> 01:16:11,808 you pathetic waste of space in my head. 1271 01:16:11,843 --> 01:16:14,915 I'm a goddamn actor and I'm going to an audition. 1272 01:16:14,949 --> 01:16:16,192 I'm gonna do my best. 1273 01:16:16,226 --> 01:16:18,056 And I really think I could get this part. 1274 01:16:18,090 --> 01:16:19,471 And you know what? 1275 01:16:19,505 --> 01:16:23,889 If I don't get it, it's not the end of the world. 1276 01:16:23,924 --> 01:16:24,890 I'm only 25. 1277 01:16:26,064 --> 01:16:27,237 Well, that's one foot in the grave. 1278 01:16:27,272 --> 01:16:28,066 Fuck you. 1279 01:16:40,250 --> 01:16:43,668 I don't know if we're programmed to do one particular thing, 1280 01:16:43,702 --> 01:16:46,429 like if a baby is destined to be a chef 1281 01:16:46,463 --> 01:16:49,225 or a car dealer or a firefighter. 1282 01:16:51,158 --> 01:16:53,367 Maybe it's that my mom instilled the idea 1283 01:16:53,401 --> 01:16:55,887 that I could be anything I wanted to be, 1284 01:16:55,921 --> 01:16:59,235 which might be a fucking lie, I'm still not sure. 1285 01:16:59,269 --> 01:17:03,101 But maybe it doesn't matter why I want what I want. 1286 01:17:03,135 --> 01:17:05,621 I just know that I want it. 1287 01:17:05,655 --> 01:17:07,692 And I want this so badly. 1288 01:17:10,073 --> 01:17:13,698 I wanna keep growing and getting better and better 1289 01:17:13,732 --> 01:17:16,632 and hopefully, eventually thriving. 1290 01:17:19,945 --> 01:17:21,602 Whatever that means. 1291 01:17:23,362 --> 01:17:25,054 How's your financial situation, 1292 01:17:25,088 --> 01:17:27,194 if you don't mind me asking? 1293 01:17:27,228 --> 01:17:30,646 Um... It's not great, but I'm doing it. 1294 01:17:32,095 --> 01:17:36,030 I'm putting in the hours I need to and getting by for now. 1295 01:17:36,065 --> 01:17:39,240 Thank you for sharing all that with us. 1296 01:17:39,275 --> 01:17:42,036 There are a lot of talented people out there, 1297 01:17:42,071 --> 01:17:45,730 several of whom we've already seen in here. 1298 01:17:45,764 --> 01:17:48,456 But we need more than that. 1299 01:17:48,491 --> 01:17:50,873 We need someone with a story, 1300 01:17:52,184 --> 01:17:54,808 someone who can sell themselves, 1301 01:17:57,914 --> 01:18:00,399 someone that we can invest in. 1302 01:18:01,918 --> 01:18:06,302 Anyway, now you can proceed with your prepared monologue. 1303 01:18:06,336 --> 01:18:09,339 No, Mom, please. I have to say this. 1304 01:18:09,374 --> 01:18:12,411 I can't go outside these walls. 1305 01:18:12,446 --> 01:18:14,793 There's just too much pain. 1306 01:18:14,828 --> 01:18:18,072 I can feel everyone staring at me, staring at this. 1307 01:18:18,107 --> 01:18:22,007 The noise it makes, it's just so loud. 1308 01:18:22,042 --> 01:18:25,459 That's why I dropped out of high school. 1309 01:18:25,493 --> 01:18:27,979 I felt everyone's eyes staring at me.